Unhelpful Thinking
The way we think about different events or situations can really affect how we feel, and we can categorise our thinking patterns as either helpful, neutral, or unhelpful.
Below are some of the most common unhelpful thinking patterns associated with anxiety during pregnancy, after birth, and throughout caring for a young baby. These unhelpful thinking patterns don’t always occur in isolation, and they often overlap. But knowing what these unhelpful patterns are, and being able to spot these types of thoughts as they occur is the first step towards changing them.
Types of Unhelpful Thoughts
| Catastrophising (thinking the worst) This is when your thoughts go straight to the worst-case scenario, and you overestimate the likelihood of something bad happening. | "Something terrible is going to happen to my baby." “This symptom/change must mean something is seriously wrong. |
| Underestimating ability This is when you doubt your ability to cope with challenges (or negative situations). These thoughts often occur alongside catastrophising thoughts. | “I just wouldn’t be able to cope if something was wrong with the baby.” “I’ll never manage all of this. I’m exhausted.” |
| Black and white thinking All of nothing thinking, where thoughts focus on extreme views and things are either completely good or completely bad. Words like ‘always’, ‘never’, ‘impossible’ tend to pop up in these thoughts. | "If I can’t breastfeed, I must be a failure." "I always get everything wrong." |
| Mind Reading Making assumptions about what other people might be thinking, without any evidence. | “The midwife/health visitor thinks I’m a terrible parent.” “No one in the group spoke to me—they probably don’t like me.” |
| Fortune Telling Predicting something negative will happen and believing it is true (even when you have no evidence to support this view). | “Something is going to go wrong with the birth.” “My baby is never going to sleep well.” |
| Filtering Focusing only on the negative or bad aspects of a situation while filtering out or ignoring anything good or realistic. It's often referred to as 'glass half-empty' type of thinking. | “I managed lots today but still didn’t manage to get the house tidy… I’m useless.” “That appointment would have been fine except for that one thing…” |
| Setting unrealistic standards Setting rigid, high expectations for yourself or others that are difficult (or impossible) to meet. | "My birth should go exactly according to my plan. There can’t be any deviations from it.” "Breastfeeding will be the easiest and most magical thing in the world." “I should be able to do everything I did before… just with a baby.” |
| Harsh critic Imposing strict rules or labels on yourself about how you should think or feel. | “There must be something wrong with me – I’m just not enjoying my pregnancy as much as I should.” “Why is everyone else seems to be coping effortlessly, when I can't get it right?” |
| Confusing thoughts with actions Believing that if you have a scary or unwanted thought about doing something negative, that you’re likely to do it in reality. | “I keep getting scary thoughts about hurting my baby, I worry that it will actually happen.” “I sometimes get frightening thoughts about something bad happening—what if I lose control?” |
| Emotional Reasoning Assuming your negative emotions reflect the way things are in reality | “I feel really anxious about this appointment—there must be something wrong.” “I’m so worried all the time… there must be a reason.” |
